How to tell if your baby is tired

Learn how to identify when your baby is tired before they become overtired

We’ve all been there, your baby starts to grizzle:

‘Whatever could be wrong sweetie?’

In an attempt to help you show her some of her favourite toys and commence making funny animal sounds.

Her grizzle changes into a cry

‘Oh dear, that didn’t work’

You pick her up and give her a cuddle, gently shhh’ing her comfortingly

But she continues to grizzle and cry

‘Maybe she’s hungry? When did she last feed?’

You offer her some milk but that just makes her more cross.

If only she could tell you what was wrong.

But she can! And she does, often! Your baby gives you cues throughout there day, subtle looks, actions and sounds that if you learn them you’ll be able to reduce fussing and increase happiness.

Sounds amazing right?

Each baby will have their own sleepy cues. Once you learn these you’ll be able to preempt when your baby is getting tired, is tired and avoid the overtired tears. Responding and putting baby down for their sleep whilst they are awake and tired is perfect. Usually baby shows between 3 - 5 signs before getting overtired.

Read on to avoid overtiredness, baby being wired, unsettled, overstimulated, fractious & grumpy. This list doesn’t include ALL sleepy cues, they differ from child to child and you will need to learn the ones specific to your baby.

Sleep cues

• Yawning

• Eyelids fluttering

• Heavy eyelids

• Staring unfocused

• Less vocal

• Closing fists

• Rubbing eyes/face

• Pulling at ears

• Sucking fingers/thumb

• Making jerky movements

• Frowning or looking worried

• Clingy

• Grizzling or crying

• Wanting attention

• Fussing when stimulation offered

• If feeding – sucking is slower

You are the expert & know your baby best. Being able to identify your baby's unique sleepy cues will become your superpower.

Did this blog help you? Comment below your baby’s sleepy cues.

If you would like to learn more about how massage can help you and your baby to sleep better check out Sweet Sleepy Baby our short Baby Massage for sleep course.

Baby Massage & Sleep?

How Does Baby Massage Affect Both Yours and Your Baby's Sleep?

Baby Massage to help sleep

Whether you’re a new parent or you are on your third child, having a young baby is full-on. They are completely dependent on you and that inevitably leaves you feeling tired all the time. Therefore, it is so important to establish a good sleeping routine from early on so you can get the rest you need to. There will be regressions as baby grows but if you have a set of tools, such as baby massage, you can tap into to help settle baby for sleep, you are setting yourself up for success.

You want them to sleep well but how? Baby Massage may help

How long should a baby’s sleep last? According to Stanford Children’s Health, a newborn should have a total of 16 hour’s sleep a day. Their daytime sleep decreases and nighttime sleep increases as they get older.

Sleep regressions often happen at 4 months, 8 months and 18 months. These figures are simply a guideline, each person is individual and will need different lengths of sleep time. Please do not be alarmed if your baby is not sleeping these lengths.

How can baby massage positively impact a baby’s sleep?

Have you ever gone for a massage and felt so zen that you could drift off? Or have you even slipped off to sleep during a massage? This isn’t uncommon. When you go to a spa or for a massage treatment, the scene is usually set to encourage this relaxation. There are dimmed lights, calming music, nice comforting smells and not too much stimulation from bright and colourful things or distracting noises. But, that’s not all that is making you calmer and sleepier.

The science behind it

Massage means ‘to stroke’. When we stroke skin, we stimulate an important nerve for sleep. The vagus nerve, also known as ‘the wandering nerve’. It is part of the parasympathetic nervous system, working in opposition to the nervous system which is responsible for our fight or flight response. Our reaction to danger involves sending the blood in our body away from our vital organs and to our muscles so we can run away and escape that sabre tooth tiger, or even fight it should we need to. When the nervous system is working hard, there are high levels fo the stress hormone cortisol in our body. This makes it almost impossible to sleep well.

Stroking the body and stimulating the PNS counters this and releases lots of nice happy hormones like oxytocin (known as the love drug and also released when we cuddle, hold and kiss). When this happens, cortisol reduces and the blood in our body can return to focusing on normal functions like digestion and resting. Oxytocin can make you feel very sleepy as well as safe and loved.

How does this affect a baby’s sleep?

When you combine stress reduction, slower and deeper breathing, a relaxed environment and a feeling of safety and security, a baby’s brain can now calm down, with their body moving into a better state of digestion, healing and growing.

Add to this enough food, drink, bowel movement and stimulation (such as baby yoga) and it’s a recipe for baby sleep success.

This is why many parents like to incorporate a massage into their bedtime routine.

Now it isn’t always an instant magic trick and just because you give a baby a massage before they go down for the night doesn’t mean they will sleep right through from the start. They may not even want a massage before bed! Many babies are overtired at bedtime and giving them a massage before bed may provide too much stimulation.

There may also be a combination of other factors affecting your baby’s sleep habits and you need to assess the situation as a whole. I had a client whose baby suffered with terrible wind and constipation. The baby didn’t sleep well because her tummy was working overtime to process her food and pass wind during the early hours of the morning. Keeping track of your baby’s day is a really great way to work out what could be affecting their sleep. Why not download our FREE SLEEP TRACKER?

You should use the tracker for two or more weeks to find patterns in baby’s day so you can pre-empt when they may be tired.

Massage can be added to the bedtime routine

If your baby isn’t in a routine and the mere mention of the word frightens you, or it feels too soon and they’re too young, please do not feel afraid. This was my speciality as a maternity nurse and I would often start putting babies into a routine from one week old.

Nowadays, one parent is often left at home for long spells with a baby. Or we have to get baby onto an ‘awake in the day, asleep in the night’ routine to fit in with our lives, work schedules etc. We thrive from structure and having a routine doesn’t mean you have to be rigid and inflexible.

Find a routine that you like and take it with a pinch of salt. Think of it more as a pattern of events that baby will identify as meaning the end of the day is approaching. This will prepare them for sleep.

‘Don’t wake a sleeping baby’….

I am a firm believer that sleep breeds sleep but I am also not afraid to wake a sleeping baby to help them adjust to a routine. I have seen many times that a child starts to wake in the night and parents, in a desperate attempt to get them to sleep through, will reduce nap time or stop them altogether.

It may work for a day or two but baby will be totally overtired, overstimulated and wired which will only lead to more sleep issues later on. They need enough sleep during the day as well as at night. Keep track of their natural sleep pattern with our FREE SLEEP TRACKER. Once you can see your baby’s overall day written down you may need to perform a few tweaks here and there to ensure they’re getting their full quota of night sleep.

There may be a combination of things that are affecting your baby’s sleep:

• No routine

• Digestive issues

• Bad habits eg knowing they are often picked up or spoken to when they stir

• Hunger/thirst

• Being disturbed

• Overtired

• Overstimulated

• Uncomfortable/in pain

• Rely on comforter/settling

• Too hot/cold

If you have already looked into all of these things, a sleep consultant may be the best way to get help specific to your family’s needs.

If you would like to learn our Sweet Sleepy Baby - Baby Massage mini course, click this link.

Importantly, don’t compare your sleep journey to anyone else’s; some babies sleep very well without much help, others need support. That is ok.

Finally, a warning - if you are super-tired, ask for help, take a break. Look after yourself.